What does a Doula do?

What is it that I do that can help a mother?

Well lots of things and its different for each family I work with but to give you a general idea:

Pre natal, This is where my most important work is done. I meet with the mother a few times during the last weeks of pregnancy, talk with her a lot, meet with her husband and develop a relationship of trust between us. I am at the end of the phone at anytime day or night throughout this time. Usually I try and do something with the couple like the tour of the birth centre or on a baby goods shopping trip this gives them both a chance to get to know me in a relaxed way and often worries and issues come out in conversation when we talk about anything but the birth !

I usually talk through the birth plan with the mother as well, I had one client who insisted on laminating his wife's birth plan and having several copies around the house, he came to know that you can't plan a birth! However you can make your choices and needs clear, having it written on paper means theres no need to have to think about it while you are busy birthing your child. 

Obviously every family is different and I'll do whatever the mother needs to feel comfortable and relaxed about her birth. I don't dictate anything, don't tell people what kind of birth to have, offer my opinion on their choices, I respect their beliefs and choices always. 

The Big Day!! Or more usually the big few days !! I am on call from the 38th week until the birth 24/7 ready to drop everything when the mother needs me. The human body is mashallah amazing and begins preparing for labour many weeks before the labour day!  It can be hard to wait for your baby to begin the labouring process the last weeks can be frustrating and tiring but it does come. When the mother calls me and asks me to come to her I go. I stay with her until she's ready for me to go. This can be a long time! During the labour I try and be a quiet presence in the back ground to give the couple space, birthing a child is a very private process. I do not make any decisions about the mother and babies care, I don't do any medical monitoring. Thats not my role, my role is to be a comforting, calm presence to reassure and generally make the whole experience more comfortable for the couple. Depending on the needs of the mother I can help her through contractions, hold her, rub her back whatever she needs me to do.

I am giving myself and my experience.

Postnatally, I stay with the mother until she's successfully breastfed her child a few times, and is happy and comfortable. Then I visit everyday for a week or so, then a few times a week or as often as the mother needs me, talk through the labour and help in anyway I can.

 Breastfeeding advice, bathing baby, housework and cooking. I am there to help the mother gain the confidence she needs, to remind her to trust her instincts and to care for her. Without the baggage that a mother or aunty can bring !

There is no better feeling than my last day with a client, when I leave her as a confident mother, happy and relaxed, well fed with and positive in her self belief and abilities. Then I know I have done my job, she doesn't need me anymore.

Breastfeeding is a babies right.

Is providing breast milk (mother/wetnurse) to an infant too young to live on solid foods a required duty?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Yes, if the infant needs to be breastfed then breast milk must be provided for him. 

It says in al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah (22/239): There is no difference of opinion among the fuqaha’ that it is obligatory to breastfeed an infant so long as he needs that and he is at the age for breastfeeding. 

Breastfeeding is a proven right of the infant, according to the rulings of sharee’ah, and must be provided for him by the one whose duty it is to do so. The fuqaha’ clearly stated that breastfeeding is the right of the child. 

They explained the reason for that as being that breastfeeding for an infant is like maintenance for an adult. 

What they said is true and is indicated by the Qur’aan. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“but the father of the child shall bear the cost of the mother’s food and clothing on a reasonable basis”

[al-Baqarah 2:233]

Allaah has enjoined upon the father to spend on the woman who nurses his child, because nutrition reaches the child via the nurse through the breast milk. So spending on the nurse is in fact spending on him. It says in Sharh Muntaha al-Iraadaat: The one who is obliged to spend on the infant, whether male or female, is obliged to spend on the child’s nurse, because the child is nourished by the milk produced by the nurse, and that can only happen if she is nourished. So it is obligatory to spend on the nurse because this is in fact spending on the child.

Al-Mufassal fi Ahkaam al-Mar’ah, 9/464. 

The scholars are unanimously agreed on the effects of breastfeeding in establishing the prohibition on marriage and on making the child the mahram of the woman who breastfeeds him, and making it permissible to look at her and be alone with her, but it does not make it obligatory to spend on the person, or make him an heir or a guardian in cases of marriage. 

The reason for this mahram relationship is obvious, because when the infant is nourished by the milk of this woman, his flesh grows on that, so it is as if he is her own child. 

Hence the scholars regarded it as makrooh to appoint a kaafir woman or an immoral woman as a wet-nurse, or a woman who was suffering from a contagious disease, because it may pass to the child. 

They regarded it as mustahabb to choose a wet-nurse who was of good character and morals, because breastfeeding changes the child’s nature. 

It is better if no one breastfeeds the child but his mother, because that is more beneficial, and that may be obligatory for her if the child will not accept the breast of anyone else. 

Doctors encourage giving the mother’s milk, especially in the early months. 

The wisdom of Allaah in creating the nourishment of the child in his mother’s milk has been proven through scientific and medical research. 

Medical benefits of breastfeeding: 

Breastfeeding brings great benefits. Allaah has enjoined breastfeeding in His Book, when He said (interpretation of the meaning): 

“The mothers shall give suck to their children for two whole years, (that is) for those (parents) who desire to complete the term of suckling”

[al-Baqarah 2:233] 

So Allaah has stated the child’s right to be breastfed. 

Fourteen hundred years after this verse was revealed, international organizations such as the World Health Organization have issued statement after statement calling on mothers to breastfeed their children, whereas Islam enjoined that fourteen centuries ago. 

The benefits of breastfeeding for the child include the following: 

1 – The mother’s milk is sterile, containing no germs. 

2 – The mother’s milk cannot be imitated by any milk prepared from the milk of cows, goats or camels. It is composed in such a way as to meet the child’s needs day after day, from birth until weaning. 

3 – The mother’s milk contains sufficient amounts of protein and sugar that suit the infant completely, whereas the proteins in cow’s, goat’s and buffalo’s milk are difficult for the child’s stomach to digest, because they are suited to the offspring of those animals. 

4 – The development of children who are breastfed is faster and more complete than that of children who are bottle-fed. 

5 – The psychological and emotional bond between the mother and her child. 

6 – The mother’s milk contains various elements that are essential to the child’s nourishment, in the right amounts and formats needed by his body, and in a form that is suited to his ability to digest and absorb.  The nourishing content of the milk is not fixed; it changes day by day according to the child’s needs. 

7 – The mother’s milk is kept at a suitable temperature that meets the child’s needs, and can be given to him at any time. 

8 – Breastfeeding is a natural means of contraception for the mother, and is free of the complications that may accompany use of birth control pills, the coil (IUD) or injections. 

From Tawdeeh al-Ahkaam, 5/107.

Islam Q&A

Tips to Avoid Stitches During Childbirth.

1. Firstly believe in your body and its amazing ability to birth your child, educate and empower yourself months before labour. Choose carefully where you want to have your baby, there is no right or wrong answer just where ever YOU feel most safe.  Hiring a Doula is a great way to be sure you feel safe during your labour, a doula is a woman who has attended many births and had natural births of her own she is not medically trained but her presence makes the mother feel safe and cared for. 
2. Be sure that your chosen place allows you to move freely, that you’ll not be strapped to a bed or made to do anything that will upset your flow in labour e.g. some midwives will encourage you to move into a position that allows for them to better see your vagina and the emerging baby, this may not be the right position for you. If you want to avoid stitches I strongly recommend going for a natural birth as a managed birth with epidural makes it extremely difficult to push out your baby, put simply you wont feel the urge to push or be allowed to change position. Births take different amounts of time, don't allow anyone to rush you or tell you that you need a forceps or ventuse delivery because you’ve already been pushing for an hour. UNLESS your baby or you are in distress there is no need to hurry you up at all.
3. There are many types of pain relief that can be used that wont interfere with the urge to push from the birth pool to injections, ask your midwife what they can offer you.
4. Before labour during the last trimester spend a lot of time in sujud  for non Muslim’s sujud is the a position of the Islamic prayer when the head is placed on the floor so that forehead and nose touch it as well as knees and toes and hands.It helps the baby get into the best position for labour and can even encourage a breech baby to turn.If you cant manage that position for long due to heart burn or other symptoms try getting on hands and knees, scrub the floor, watch TV anything, also walk as much as you can and practice squatting for a few minutes at a time everyday, you can do so holding on to a bar like your towel bar or the kitchen counter.
5. Some people like to massage the perineum with oil like olive or evening primrose oil to help it to stretch, I would say its a better idea to include essential oils in your diet like avocado and olive oils to make your skin stretch from the inside. Drinking raspberry leaf tea during the last trimester 2 cups a day from 36 weeks will make the second stage quicker and easier as it tones the uterus thus making each contraction more productive.
6. Practice deep relaxation during pregnancy and during labour to relax the whole body there is truth in the way some women teach "imagine your cervix is opening like a flower".
7.  You have to realize that this pain isn't a bad pain every since contraction is the strength of your body bringing baby closer.When you feel the uncontrollable urge to push in the second stage of labour get into whatever position feels right for you.Squatting or on hands and knees or the birthing chair are all good.Allowing baby the space to turn in your pelvis, babies come out like a corkscrew laying on your back  makes the space smaller so very much slows labour down, standing holding on to some one (hubby) is good.

So yeah theres my tips for preventing tearing in labour. I am not medically trained and I do not in anyway take responsibility for you should you use my tips.I am however a doula and have attended many women who have had natural births without stitches, also a mother of four all born without stitches!